The problem of course comes when there is a perception that women cannot or should not do things for themselves that they are perfectly capable of doing, or worse yet, that men should be rewarded romantically (or sexually) for their generosity in helping women do things that we could actually do for ourselves.īut for years, I thought this was what chivalry was. Modern feminists have often pushed back against this, because unfortunately many of these things can be a bit patronizing (for instance, most woman I know are remarkably capable of mastering the door.) Yet, having someone hold the door open is a fairly benign and often thoughtful act. This included things like opening doors, or walking women home at night, or picking them up for a date, etc. The problem is, we’ve become a little confused about what exactly chivalry is, or how we should use it.įor a long time I assumed, as I suspect many people do, that chivalry was a code of conduct originated by knights that included how men should behave, specifically towards women. The problem isn’t that chivalry is anti-feminist. Nonetheless, as a feminist, you might be surprised to find that I actually think chivalry of a certain kind is something we need more of in the world, and we should perhaps give a little more thought to bringing chivalry back into style. The world has changed a lot since then, and so that system has, like many such things from the 12 th century, become obsolete. One of the reasons for this is that “cultural commentators have a strange obsession with asking whether things are dead.” However, another more obvious reason is that chivalry has actually been more or less dead for years, as it was a system developed by European knights around the 12 th century. In fact the concern over chivalry’s untimely demise is a recurrent one. ) However, strangely, this concern of feminism ruining men’s chivalrous nature is not new with millennials. As a millennial, I am well accustomed to being part of a generation known for killing things (for instance, see this list of 70 things millennials are accused of killing. So is chivalry dead? Well, in a word, yes. There seems to be a concern (and underlying accusation) that as women develop more cultural self-sufficiency and take on more leadership roles, and as we put more regulations on male romantic advances, we are in fact conditioning men away from such noble ideals as being good leaders, taking initiative, or being manly men.Īnd yes, this ultimately often gets wrapped up in the conclusion that feminism is killing chivalry. So far as I understand the matter, there is a mounting concern that in the cultural wake of female advancement, feminism has swung the pendulum too far. Or at least this is an often-voiced concern I hear from certain quadrants of the populace, perhaps as a distressed pushback to the alleged feminist agenda. I’m not sure if you have heard-but chivalry is dead.
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